I'm a big fan of the Netflix "Watch Instantly" feature, especially as I can stream the movies to my Tivo and watch them on my tv. It's a great way to catch those movies that I *kinda* wanted to see, but would never pay for. Movies like "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"

When I first heard about this movie I knew it would be terrible, and the reviews indicated I was correct. This weekend it showed up in new releases, and I took the opportunity. I mean, its a dumb action movie produced by Hasbro - how could I resist?

First off, G.I Joe was perhaps the most violent movie I've ever seen where no one ever swears. Really, not once. Lady Jane shot people in the head with explosive crossbow bolts at least five times, and no one ever even said "damn". The Baroness killed more people than Rambo but at least she isn't a potty-mouth.

It gets better! Did you ever see "Team America: World Police"? The South Park guys made a movie satirizing action blockbusters, in which the heroes blew up huge parts of Paris and killed many bystanders trying unsuccessfully to stop terrorists from blowing up the Eiffel Tower. G.I. Joe had the exact same scene! They ripped off a parody of a violent action film in a super violent action film based a cartoon based on a toy line. Bra-vo!

The thing is, if you turned off the sound, the movie wasn't that bad... ok, it was garbage, but it was exciting, well made garbage. Really, only a couple of things made the movie terrible; first was the excruciating dialog (yep they really used the "... And knowing is half the battle!" line), and the second is physics.

Physics in Sci-fi movies is always a bit of a sore spot, but hear me out. If you make a movie where you have, say, a time machine I don't hold it against you that you don't explain how it works. It's needed for the story, and it's inclusion does not radically alter the world in which we live. Fine. However if you say that it's a world where steam engines don't work, I call bullshit. If liquids no longer expand when turning into gas, the the whole world no longer works! Does water vapor have the same density as water? Is there no such thing as water vapor? How does the ecosystem work? How does life even exist? Fooey!

G.I. Joe has lots of these problems, but I'll give you the one that almost killed me. When Cobra activated the self destruct on their arctic submarine base, did the base, say, overload its reactor? Did they detonate all their munitions? Flood the base with acid? Nope! They blew up the icepack overhead causing the ice to sink down and crush the base.

I'll let you think about that for a minute.

Wha? Ice... sinks? well, then why has it up there in the first place? Is the only thing keeping ice at the top of the ocean it's contact with the shore and structural rigidity? Do icebergs have air pockets or something?

Every time I see a movie or read a book with this type of thing it makes my blood boil. I'm not sure if it's just lazy writing, or if the writer simply has no idea how the world works. In a book I hate it, but a book is usually a single persons work, so its possible that they have a spot of ignorance, but in a movie? That scene went through the hands of maybe a hundred people before it was released, and no one pointed this out. Hollywood does this all the time and it always irks me. The worst example I've heard of is that there is a movie in production where the earth stops rotating, so gravity disappears. The whole movie involves the protagonist trying to get across town to rescue his daughter from flying off the world. Gaah! So.. Many... Things... Wrong! If I knew the screenwriter of this thing, I'd never stop choking them. I'd gladly do the jail time!

Man, I gotta stop it with the energy drinks.

I love my iPad so much that if I lived in a more liberal country I would marry it. Since I bought it (on launch day) I've read at least ten books on it, used it to watch a TV show or movie at least once a day, and have spent so much time playing its games that I'm beginning to feel guilty bringing it to work.

Someone recently asked me if I recommended purchasing one. Thing is, I'm not sure. I love mine like my arm, but as a practical purchase, I'm not sure it's worth the money. I guess the answer is this: if you have $500-$700 to spend on a toy an iPad is a no brainer. As a productivity tool, an iPad is about as effective as a kitten.

A couple of friends of mine threw a Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday. A great time was had by all, and it lead me to the thought that there are many holidays that are not located in the best times of the year. I mean, its just over 3 months from November 11th (Veterans day) to February 15 (Washington's birthday), and yet there are six holidays during that time. The whole rest of the year only has four. That's 60% of our national days off where a cookout at the park is out of the question.

I offer no real solution for this problem, but it deserves further study.

Spring is finally here in Seattle, and with it comes allergies. I never had any problem with pollen and such ilk when I was young, but I am now subject to their evil machinations. It used to be that I could get effective medication at the store, but due to some damn meth-heads the good stuff is locked away behind the counter at the pharmacy. Every time I buy a box, they check my id and put my name on a list. I'm not sure I like being on the "suspected drug kingpin" list.

I've been reading about classic mixed drinks, and I'm ashamed at how many I've never tasted. I'm going to make a list of drinks that I've never tried, and every time I'm at a bar I'm going to order at least one drink from that list.

Man, cooks in the 60's had the right idea! I've been experimenting with casseroles the last few weeks; nothing can be easier. Throw a vegetable in a dish with some cream of whatever soup, some onions or peppers, maybe some noodles or chicken, and bake. I've yet to come up with a combination that doesn't work. Next up, cream of shrimp and kale!

Gaa! Walking in the rain is only romantic when you are walking toward, away from, or with a love interest. Walking alone in the rain is just unpleasant. Next time I'll try to feel a sense of ennui. That may make it more cinematic.