At $3 a gallon it takes 46000 miles for a Honda Civic Hybrid to save enough gas to pay the difference between it's purchase price and that of a standard Civic. A VW Jetta TDI (turbo diesel) takes only 14000 miles to pay for the extra cost of it's diesel engine... and it will run for fricken' ever. I just don't get what's so great about Hybrids.

The garbage pick up for my building is on Monday, so I usually take out the trash on Tuesday morning. For the last few weeks there has been a woman throwing tennis balls for a golden retriever in the parking garage under my building where the dumpster is. Each time I see her I nod and continue on, but today the dog ran up to me and wanted the garbage, so I got to talking to the woman. It seems she has two tennis balls, a red one and a blue one, and she has been trying to teach the dog red from blue.

I just didn't have the heart to tell her that dogs are colorblind.

Please excuse wopr from blogging recently as he was ill.

-wopr's mom

Woo! Half day at work today! They're training some people on our Docutech this afternoon, so my boss M said I could take off at 12:00. Yeah, I really didn't want to watch a twenty year old xerox dude try to train two 60 year old press operators how to use the machine when neither of them can even check their email. Take it as a cautionary tale; don't let technology pass you by thinking that you don't need to learn the new stuff. Get a few generations behind and it's tough as hell to catch up.

I was gonna blog about the lack of grape soda in vending machines, (which is a sin) when I came across a story in the paper. It seems that the frontman of a KISS tribute band was thrown out of the Hard Rock casino in Vegas after trying to assault the manager of another KISS tribute band. The part that makes this story great? The guy thrown out was a member of Mini-KISS, an all dwarf cover band, and the guy he was after managed Tiny KISS, the other prominant KISS midget tribute band. There's been bad blood between the two bands ever since Tiny KISS stole the drummer from Mini-KISS. Apparantly it's hard to find a drumming dwarf who is willing to dress up like Peter Criss.

Humbaba's birthday was this weekend, so I went out and bought him a bottle of MD 20/20 "Real Grape" flavored wine. Before you think me unkind, pull up a chair and listen to a story.

About 12 years ago I was sitting in my apartment one Friday night when Humbaba dropped by. He was on a date, and, lacking any better ideas for entertainment, he had stopped at a Safeway and purchased a case of beer and the largest, cheapest bottle of "wine" he could find. He grinned, handed me the booze, said "Drink up!" and took off.

My roommate Kurt worked nights at the time, and when he came home at 2 am he found me passed out on the floor surrounded by beer cans and wrapped around a nearly empty bottle of Paul Masson's best. Being a good roommate, he dragged me into the bathroom and went to bed.

Man oh man, I am regretting dinner last night. I ate with a buddy of mine who just was laid off here at work, and we decided to get pizza and beer at Northlake Tavern. Two large adult males should have no problem eating a medium pizza, but that thing nearly killed us. I'm not sure what they put in it (other than 20 lbs of cheese), but I can tell you it ain't health food. Oh well, whatever doesn't kill me makes me whine. I washed it down with four pints of Deschutes Black Butte Porter (mmm! Tasty!) and staggered on home.

Ok, the poker pro plan is off. I played last night and lost $5 in 2 1/2 hours. I can't live on -$320 a month no mater how hard I scrimp and save. Back to the lottery winner idea.

Don't worry about the odds though; I got a system!

I'm thinking of quitting work and becoming a professional poker player

Stop laughing Humbaba.

The deal is that I'm not of those people who "need" to work to feel "fulfilled". Really, I'm not. I'd just as soon sleep in till 2pm and then go out and enjoy myself than get up at 6 every day to work at a job I don't enjoy. Sounds crazy, I know.

I'd be an excellent lottery winner.

I've been accused of being a dillitante blogger for my week long absence from these pages, so I want all my reader to know that I do intend on keeping this thing going. I've just been so busy at work that I couldn't do this on top of everything else. I've decided to re-prioratize my life to make room for blogging and decided to eliminate personal hygene. My co-workers loss is your gain!